Whatever Happens
by Lola Witherbottoms
Summary: After her death, Catti-brie tries to say goodbye to Drizzt in the best way she knows how, all the while understanding that he may never find that goodbye. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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She watched him, her gaze perfectly passive, as he sat on his bed, his face hidden in his hands and his shoulders bobbing with quiet sobs. Her expression may have been empty, but the longing she felt, the desire, to reach out and touch him, was anything but.

But she would never be able to again.

Drizzt raised his head, his eyes swimming. He looked as though he was staring right at her, but she knew he was gazing out the window at the sunset.

"It weren't yer fault," she said softly. She had seen part of what he had written—there was no way he could have prevented it. She was dead from the moment the orc, one larger and stronger than any she had seen before, had spotted her. Not even Khazid'hea could have helped. "Drizzt…it weren't yer fault."

He couldn't hear her, though. Blinking away her own tears, she moved closer and curled up against him, laying her head on his shoulder; he shivered and pulled away, reaching for a blanket to wrap around him.

"Stop blaming yerself," she murmured.

Drizzt rested his head against the wall, sniffling. He stood and walked slowly over to the window, closing the curtains so that the whole room was shrouded in darkness. From there he made his way to the adjoining washroom.

She heard water running, and as he got into the bath, she laid down on the bed, wishing she could feel the warmth he had left behind. She used the pillow to brush away a tear, reaching out a hand to run her fingers over the open journal beside her. She didn't even smear the still-wet ink.

A few minutes later Drizzt came out dressed in clean clothes, his wet hair hanging in strands around his face. She reluctantly sat up, not wanting him to freeze because of her. She went to sit at the end of the bed, watching curiously as he picked up the book and the quill that stood on the night table in the inkwell, and again began to write.

He had to pause every now and again to blink the tears back; she wondered what exactly he was writing. At last he sighed, shook his head, and scrubbed a hand over his eyes. He blew out the candle that was already threatening to burn itself out and got beneath the covers.

She listened to him rustle around for a few minutes, then, a few minutes after that, she heard his breathing deepen, and she managed a smile. It was good that he could sleep so easily.

Without a sound she got up and looked over his shoulder at the book he had forgotten to put aside. She reached out and was surprised when she found that she could touch it, even pick it up. She took the book with her, and the quill as well, and went to sit in the comfortable chair in the corner.

She looked over his latest entry, and what caught her eye were the last words he had written—a sad, hopeless testimony to his feelings towards her, but feelings he had never admitted. Again blinking back tears, she put the quill to the paper.

Finding the right words was easy, but with the knowledge that he might never read what she wrote, it made it hard to keep going. The ink would fade by morning, much like, she assumed, she would eventually fade from his memory.

She never wrote the words directly, but she knew that if he read what was there, he would understand. Drizzt would know.

At last she laid the book back down beside him, placing his hand over her words so he could find them. He shivered at her touch and stirred.

Suddenly having the feeling that she was being watched, she turned to see Regis at the door, his huge brown eyes slightly teary as he gazed at her. "Have you been in here the whole time?" he asked.

"Yeah," Catti-brie replied gruffly. "Say…sayin' goodbye."

"We need to leave. Do you…want to go see Bruenor and Wulfgar?" He came to stand beside her and put a comforting hand on her arm. She could feel warmth.

"Yeah." She followed him to the doorway, but before they entered the corridor she turned around to look at Drizzt once more.

"Will you be all right?" Regis asked quietly.

She swallowed hard, but nodded after a moment. "Dunno." She shook her head. "Just…I hope he's happy. Whatever happens."

Regis smiled. "I know." He patted her arm then took her hand. "Let's go."


End file.
